Saturday, September 19, 2009 |

My life seems so lifeless now.



I can't see any hope now except only after my promo's when i get my results. Only after that then i need to make a decision that will change my life.



My life sucks. really.



I seriously wished i got go back in time when i got my 'O' level results. When everything was still good. When things didn't go wrong.



So many things happened... i can't even talk about it cos its just too much for me to remember and say. The only thing i can do now is wait, do my best and start all over anew.

I look around and see things everyday... Things which could have been... Things which were or was.

My life is just at this status quo at the worst possible time of my life. I'm probably being ignored right here right now. Cos i bet no one... and i mean NO-ONE looks at my blog anymore. I'm not typing this out to attract attention... i'm presuming this to be a bloody fact.

No one even looks at this, i can probably call my blog officially a private one without even technically needing to do so.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. Right now, i can't do to change anything. Its only a matter of time before i press the "restart" button on my life. Its like resetting your PC to its original factory settings when you first bought it.

Only thing is... some settings in my life are already permanent...

I wish to spill everything out right here everytime i go online to blog. But i just can't... cos it'll compromise everything that i lived for... everything i'm fighting for... everything i want to protect dearly.

Cos losing them will be like a prisoner who has been tortured beyond physical or mental repair... a physical shell for a soul long gone.

Life is a war. I am a soldier. And war, they say... is hell...






"Mad World" by Gary Jules



All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world, mad world, enlarging your world

Saving a life at 7:30 AM